My Spring Training

Today I am going to share my view of Spring Training. I find it very appropriate since there is only 5 days left! For the last 6 or so weeks I have been blogging about stats, stadiums and when Jess will throw. So I want to take today and let you in on how I see and view Spring Training.

Spring Training for me is basically a bunch of (excuse my language) "bitch-slapping" and "weave pulling" but in grown men form. I am sure yall already know this but men are worse about gossiping than women are. Everyday someone has something catty to say about the other and it dominos from there. When I told Jess about my metaphoric example that I explained above his response was "It really is". Men are of course the most competitive creatures on earth by nature. Put them all in one clubhouse=a bunch of gossiping hens. Someone on the team always doesnt deserve a spot in the big leagues and someone is ALWAYS better than someone else. Of course when your husband is competing for a spot in your eyes you think he deserves THE spot. And yes I do think he deserves THE spot! I know he is young but he has worked very hard at getting his confidence back and I want them to give him a chance. Sadly for me I am not in control and I do not get to make the decisions....funny huh.

After spending last season in a sort of depressive state I refuse to let the management and the business side of baseball control my happiness again this year or any other year. Unfortunately for Jess and every other professional athlete it sometimes doesnt matter how well you perform. This sport (and Im not being biased) will take your soul. It will take you, eat you and poop you right out!-(this is something Ive experienced before) Its a constant battle everyday to remind yourself that no matter how well you perform you just might not get picked. It may be easier for you to relate in this way: Spring Training and the actual season is a constant cheerleading tryout. "Look at me, watch me, PICK ME!!!!" I feel for my husband and for his competition because in each and everyone of their eyes they deserve a spot. For me that is absolutely crushing to have to go through everyday. That is probably why again God made Jess the athlete and me the athlete's wife.

Do not get me wrong, please dont. I know Jess has the ultimate dream job but there is constant promotion and demotion in this line of work. You have to have tough skin and not take anything personal. (Me?!? Not take something PERSONAL?!?!?!?! Yeah freaking right! Just kidding!) But really you cant or you will lose yourself. In any circumstance you have to constantly remind yourself this is a very small setback compared to how things could be. A year ago I wouldnt be saying any of this. Jess and I both wouldnt have said that things could be worse because in our minds our lives were so over! Nothing could have been worse to us than what we were going through at the time. HAHA! Yeah that chapter of our lives can just be called selfishness! We can just tuck that chapter far far back behind the chapters called jr. college and things we did that we dont want to remember.

Baseball is the only sport that has levels you have to get through before you reach the "Big Show". All the other sports you go and try out and you make it to the NFL, NBA or MLS or you dont. While in baseball you spend years trying to get to the MLB. I think what has helped me deal with this line of work is the plain, simple truth that God is in control. Im not, Jess isnt, you reading this blog arent....Just God. He has it all planned and he knows what is right and what is best for Jess. For me that is so calming and peaceful. That brings true true calmness to my heart and soul. God would never hurt us and when he wants Jess in the big leagues he will be there. If he doesnt ever want him there and Jess has a career in the minors that is fine. You know why? Because whatever he has planned is better for us than what we want or have planned for ourselves. I truly believe this and believing this gives me everything I need and fulfills me.

Like I said there are only 5 days left and the roster still hasnt been set. No decisions have been made. We have no idea where we are going to be. We dont have a place to live in Cleveland or Columbus and to be honest Im not worried about it. I know its going to all fall into place. So for now Im going to fly by the seat of my pants these last 5 days.

Jess throws tomorrow against the Brewers and I cant wait! Pictures to come afterwards! Happy Thursday!
Love,
E