It was a "God" thing

I have fumbled back and forth with making this blog more public. A big part of me really wants to advertise the crap out of it, make people more aware of what is going on over at "Tales of the Todd's". Then the other part of me doesn't want the judgement of what I have to share and what all my life entails.

The past couple of years that "Tales of the Todd's" has been up and running, it has been to document Jess' outings and how he is doing so that our family can keep up. In those past couple of years I have had many struggles with the life of having a husband who plays Baseball for a career and Jess has had his fair share as well. Looking back on those dark, very sad, very misunderstood times, my heart can't help but to feel full. Jess catapulted into success reaching the Major League level at a young age. Which is great but the "success" or what is considered to be "success" in the statistical part of baseball didn't keep. You have critics in your everyday life of course but the critics in the world of sports is on a whole different level. My husband endured a lot of blows to his stature, way he threw, and comments that would make your blood boil on any given Sunday. It was rough, he seriously hated life. We had "Come to Jesus Meetings" every other day it seemed like and I started to wonder if the sport that he was groomed his entire life for was going to be the demise of him and us.

Do not get me wrong. I love this game. I love this game just like my husband loves this game. Every day that I wake up I am so blown away at just how much this game has blessed my life and my husbands. This offseason Jess became a Free Agent and this was a first for him. We really didn't know what to expect. I can't say enough how good God has been to us and by his grace and watchful way Jess wasn't a Free Agent for long and signed with Detroit in November. With thankful hearts we were both very excited but very nervous and scared for what was to come. I had already decided that I wasn't going to try too hard to open up and meet anyone this season because we didn't know for sure if Jess would break with the team and I didn't want to get too excited to then just be let down. I remember even telling my best friend that on the phone once we arrived in Florida for Spring Training.

God had other plans for me though.

During Spring Training, Detroit and all organizations offer a Bible Study for all players who want to attend. The Bible Study that the organization puts on is and was amazing! I saw a transformation in Jess during that time and he opened up so much and came to terms with so much of his career that it truly impacted us both. The way we found out about it was because I reached out to one girl on Facebook who's husband was in the Detroit Organization who coincidentally had the same last name as us. She then told me about the study and after trying to keep from making any friends we had dinner one night. We were then instantly friends and I felt like we had known each other forever. Out of all the Spring Training's we have had 2013's was both mine and Jess' favorite!

I figured after breaking camp since we wouldn't be in the same place as said girl and her husband that I wouldn't be making anymore new friends. Sound ridiculous, I know but when you move around a lot you start to only eat at the places that are nearby, shop at the grocery store that is on the corner and not leave the house as much. It can sometimes get tiring trying to maneuver around a new city. Same goes with making friends. Again, God is too good to me and has blessed me with a friend who is absolutely genuine and is going to make the season so enjoyable. I am so thankful for all the work he has done in my life and I feel like even though some of it was sooo painful it was all worth it. I am sure there are still plenty of painful moments ahead in my life but I know that He will guide me through all of them.

Jess recently started to struggle on the mound. He was having some mechanical issues that he was working on. I started to feel anxious and worried about his job and I could tell he felt the same way. I finally had to sit down and pray really hard. I prayed on all of the things I was struggling with and having problems with. I mean I prayed hard. That night we had a game that went into extra innings. I of course started to worry. I knew the longer the game went the more of chance Jess would pitch and be put in what I term to be a scary situation. Everyone knows a tie has to break at some point.

Jess came into pitch for the 12th inning. He did phenomenal! He pitched 4.2 innings but ended up getting the loss. During those innings he had 6 strike outs, 4 hits and only 1 walk. The runs he endured only came in the last .2 of an inning he pitched. He hadn't pitched over 3 innings in years. I know in my heart that outing was a TOTAL "God" thing. God was there taking care of Jess and his anxiety through every pitch. I believe that when you can look back at a situation and it didn't end the way you wanted or go the way you planned but are still thankful at the conclusion that is a "God" thing. God directs our steps, he knows the BETTER way we just have to surrender.

I know that I am not perfect. I sin just as much as the next person but I believe with all of my heart, soul and mind that if you believe in God and let go of all you are trying to control he will amaze you by what he has planned in your life. He has done so in the past couple of months for me and if I really dig deep into what has happened in the past he has worked in those times too. God is for us and I know some days it is hard to see that he is, but he is! And I will praise him and thank him continually for all he has done and will do for me.

So this is my life. Living day to day supporting my husband in his journey playing one of "America's Favorite Pastimes". For some it may seem like a cakewalk and in comparison to problems other people have, mine are very miniscule. A lot of baseball wives, fiances and girlfriends can attest that even though this may be a game, the problems and issues that we are sometimes faced with are very serious and real.

I hope that in this blog I can encourage you and be a light so that you too can rely on God and all he has to offer in your life.

Love,
E