A letter to myself

I had been throwing around topics I wanted to write about last weekend when the thought of writing a "letter to myself" came to mind. So, so much has changed in the past year and motherhood has broadened so many horizons along with humbling the sh** (forgive me Jesus) out of me.

I honestly laugh sometimes at how I have bent or broke when a situation arises and I said I wouldn't do this or that when I had a baby.

So, here it goes....

Dear pre-judgemental, pre-kid Erica,
I know you are thinking that you are still going to be able to do it all once you have a baby, but your not. Go ahead and start cutting yourself slack now because this will make that blow a little less hard if you do. You're no longer going to be able to take an hour gym sesh 4-5 days a week so enjoy it now. Getting the laundry done and put up will be a huge victory for you once the baby is here. I really don't know why but it will be. The amount of days that you wear make up and "real" clothes will drop to a staggering one to two times a week. Ok, three times a week. All of your clothes will be somewhat ruined, stretched out or stained from that sweet babe constantly pulling, grabbing and wiping stuff on you. Showers will take on a whole new meaning for you. They will be somewhat holy. Sleep deprivation won't be the same sleep deprivation you suffered from in college. This kind is the real thing. That paci you so ugly talked about will end up being your best friend and all those times you judged other mom's and dad's in the grocery store or at a restaurant will come to bite you in the butt. In these instances you will learn what survival mode really means and just "pick your battles". Some days and nights will be harder than others. I can tell you now that you are going to fail majorly at being a parent. You are going to see just how weak you really are. As pre-judgemental, pre-kid Erica this is going to hurt you because you try your hardest to do everything right. You cannot worry though, in every wrong you do there will be a right that washes it out. You see, I am writing this to you from the future. I am doing all the things you said you wouldn't do. Being a parent is so hard, but being a mother is amazing. You would be so proud of yourself even though you are doing all the things you said you wouldn't. You love your baby something fierce. His cheeks and tiny teeth make your heart flutter and any time away from him feels like a lifetime. You are a tad bit overbearing but I think you will mellow out over time. Every day is a learning experience so don't be too hard on yourself. Especially in the beginning. And enjoy the struggle, before you know it he will be grown and you won't know what to do with yourself.

Love,
post-baby Erica